Expectant Hope

The moment I had waited for most of my life was finally here. Since I was about five years old I dreamed of having a son. I looked forward to our life together: the things we’d do, the places we’d visit, the love we’d share. I even had a name picked out, Thomas, after the apostle who doubted and a friend I knew from high school who passed away shortly after graduation. I’d always loved that name.

I had a close thing with my little brother. In many ways he was my first son, allowing me to practice my mothering skills. We did everything together until I left for the service when he was in junior high. Then I married Tim and within a few years was expecting my first child, a boy. Timmy was born and I was in love, but I was to have him only a few short months. He died of SIDS when he was just eight weeks old. A year later I had my twin girls. I loved them dearly but still wanted a son so very badly.

I begged my husband to try one more time. It didn’t take long and I was pregnant. At my 20 week ultrasound I learned I was carrying another boy. Needless to say I was happy beyond words. He grew fast and was a very active baby. Towards the end of my term I could see his feet pushing my tummy. It was such a cool sight! I talked to him every day even though he wasn’t yet born. I waited expectantly for the day I would see him face to face. I yearned for the time we would spend together as mother and son. I had such hope for him.

Finally, at thirty eight weeks and near ready to split open, the doctors decided to induce labor. But Tommy would have none of it. After nearly a full day of labor he was taken by C-section in the evening. I was tired and hungry but so happy to finally meet my boy. Thomas Nathan Bremer came into the world at 7:09 pm weighing 10 lbs 15 1/2 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long. He was everything I hoped for, and more. But I didn’t see the whole story when he was born. I would learn years later that Tommy would have a genetic miscoding that would leave him in a wheelchair. He wouldn’t live the life I dreamed for him.

In Matthew chapter 21 we see Jesus entering Jerusalem as a king. Verses 6-11 state ” “The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,
“Hosanna to the Son of David!” “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”
“Hosanna in the highest heaven!” When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?” The crowds answered, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.”

Today is Palm Sunday, the beginning of the Christian Holy Week. On this day over 2000 years ago, the Jews had high hopes. They praised Jesus as he entered the town and threw down their cloaks and palm branches as he passed by. They anticipated the arrival of a king and prophet who had been blessing them and healing them and performing miracles. This king would surely get them out from under the yoke of the Roman Empire. Surely the tide was going to turn. But alas, their attitudes changed when their hopes were dashed later in the week. They would soon see this king on trial and headed to Calvary for crucifixion. And they turned on him. He was not what they expected. Their hopes were left unfulfilled. But they were so wrong.

Like my hopes and dreams for my son Tommy were dashed, so were those of the Jews as Holy Week progressed. But God knows so much more than we will ever know. My plans for Tommy’s life were to be very different than the reality of his life, but the reality has actually been so much better. Despite his disability, and maybe even because of it, he has exceeded all my dreams. We are very close, and have shared so many things: trips, conversations, fun times, and such, and most importantly, my son has a strong faith in Jesus as his Lord and Savior. He has right priorities. Jesus may not have been the conquering king that the Jews expected, but He went on to conquer death and save His people eternally. Now that’s hope!

Today is Tommy’s 21st birthday. Instead of partying like other young men his age, he began his day at church and with his family. My hopes for him are now eternally focused because he knows The Lord. My prayer for all parents who may be reading this blog is that your children may know Him too. Happy birthday my dear son. The best is yet to come!